Most people are intuitively skilled at evoking a given emotion in another person. You probably have reliable ways of making someone feel anger, surprise, fear, sadness or mirth. But how do you create the feeling of attraction in another person? To answer that question, first we will develop a working definition of attraction. I think of attraction as spontaneous movement towards an object. Iron filings are attracted towards a magnet. Rainwater is attracted to a valley, a river, and ultimately the sea. And women are attracted to men who are strong, funny and romantic, flowing towards them.
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The purpose of this book is to show you how to get that flow moving towards you, just as water naturally flows down into the valley. Attraction occurs along a gradient. Generally, women tend to be attracted to men higher than themselves on the social hierarchy. Therefore, if you convey higher social status than a given woman, there is a better chance that she will be attracted to you. You can either have the real determinants of social status - power, wealth and looks - or you can successfully convey the indicators of status. For men, some of these are relaxed body language, deep tone of voice, measured pace of speech, economy of movement, wit, and general excellence.
The importance of these indicators cannot be overstressed. There are many men out there with real status - businessmen, politicians - who cannot create attraction because of their lack of awareness of these indicators. Conversely, there are men with little or no status who create massive attraction with women by virtue of their mastery of these outward indicators. Generally speaking, the highest status (or dominant) male in a gathering will be the most attractive, and humans are innately programmed to know who this person is. At work, it’s the boss. At a restaurant, it’s the manager. At a speech, it’s the speaker. At bars, it’s the bartender or bouncer. At a concert, it’s the performer. Notice how status depends on location: bouncers and musicians are often poorly compensated and have little power outside of their milieu.
body to body massage london
The purpose of this book is to show you how to get that flow moving towards you, just as water naturally flows down into the valley. Attraction occurs along a gradient. Generally, women tend to be attracted to men higher than themselves on the social hierarchy. Therefore, if you convey higher social status than a given woman, there is a better chance that she will be attracted to you. You can either have the real determinants of social status - power, wealth and looks - or you can successfully convey the indicators of status. For men, some of these are relaxed body language, deep tone of voice, measured pace of speech, economy of movement, wit, and general excellence.
The importance of these indicators cannot be overstressed. There are many men out there with real status - businessmen, politicians - who cannot create attraction because of their lack of awareness of these indicators. Conversely, there are men with little or no status who create massive attraction with women by virtue of their mastery of these outward indicators. Generally speaking, the highest status (or dominant) male in a gathering will be the most attractive, and humans are innately programmed to know who this person is. At work, it’s the boss. At a restaurant, it’s the manager. At a speech, it’s the speaker. At bars, it’s the bartender or bouncer. At a concert, it’s the performer. Notice how status depends on location: bouncers and musicians are often poorly compensated and have little power outside of their milieu.
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